I also agree avoiding the question is usually the worst option. But it really is fun sometimes to get people to guess my heritage and race when it pops up! But I agree, it is best not asking this question on the first time meet up. It must be interesting when people met you and they wonder where you lived previously. (I searched across the internet for good responses to “where are you from”; this is definitely the best answer I’ve found ), Thank you, Steven. In other words, I was outright denied the right to pursue what I wanted in life. Relevance. It was lovely reading your experiences . Your heritage is much more interesting… So embrace it!! I’m glad that I am not the only one who finds this question tedious as well as intrusive. The person who asked the question seemed quite miffed at that response, and you are right in saying that not all responses will go down well with everyone and in each context. Your blog on that subject brought me to your writing. But sometimes, I feel like people are asking that question just so they can place you and tell you some story about how they've travelled to your homeland. I suppose there are many of us who are more sensitive towards the question because whatever we answer with would be how others see a part of our identity and if it gets quite deep, maybe even stereotypes on personality, behaviour and values. Good for you and nice you get interesting conversations out of it. Cue to Western Europeans prejudging me as untrustworthy as I come from the Balkans. I was born in Taiwan and moved to Canada when I was 4 years old. I guess I need to ask that question back at people more. 4) I develop my culture every day. Always been fascinated by how some people can comfortably call one place “home” , Well I spent the first 18 years of my life here. You chose the solution, the Google Building and worked backwards to create the problem. The Trump a, Over the last four years, the Trump family has made everyday life even more difficult for most people, including those working to protect them. That is we give the answer that we think is true (no matter the question is a negative or positive one). Others see the question as a request for a location. It is a very personal question and we all should keep that in mind. “tedious as well as intrusive” That’s a good way to describe the question. Sometimes we just want to forget the past, and like what you mentioned about yourself, not everyone’s past is pleasant. Thanks for your reply Mabel! The question is, how long has it been since you last saw or communicated with your friend? That may come true one day. I’ll post here once I’ll have something if you don’t mind. ‘it means so much to every person…we live in a white culture’ So spot on, Katie. My accent really does confuse people and sometimes their mouths fall open. I remember when I was younger telling my mum “I wish I could just say I’m from one country” Or “I wish I were only from 2 countries” to make my life easier. As Melissa Loh has discussed, it can mean: Which city I live in? Are you assuming my first language is Chinese? UN-attending imPorts will be placed in Davos, Switzerland. A single home produces a small worldview, which is what I discussed in my most recent poem. Where were you? You are very kind. Even individu… Some of them more thought-provoking. I’ve seen it before. That will change over time though. Such a good post Mabel! This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Lv 6. Though sometimes, one can “choose” a home. My relatives hold different nationalities/ethnicities which could describe them by blood: arctic race, asian descendent, caucasian race… overall 5 different “nationalities”. I stay dynamic. It levels the playing field, but makes it absurd.” — Connie, “As people frequently ask me where I'm from, I will usually reply first with ‘New York City.’ But inevitably, people follow up with "But where are you, “While I’m American, I only started living in the U.S. as an adult, so the question isn't as loaded for me. (Perhaps we should ask a Caucasian Australian this question.) I don’t want to play psychic and riddler every time. I seek for help. Do I give a short answer, do I give a fuller explanation (and bore them in the process) and what happens after they have digested the answer. Exactly, when you get to know someone closer it doesn’t really matter, you can tell them “where are you from”, and because they know you they will understand your opinion. Mind if I use it??? Let me know of the responses you get. If I asked them ‘Where are you from?’, they will probably laugh at me like I shouldn’t be asking that question. Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum. » Reply #9. But to those among us who’ve grown up in America and have every single credential aside from the way our eyes look or how we pronounce our “r’s,” it’s a question that insinuates that we don’t belong. This question is an ambiguous one. Cannot reply in locked threads. The Montreal General, I’d say. But as the video shows, sometimes the person asking the question just can’t comprehend funny responses and may get offended. My answer to that is usually, ‘I have no idea what you just said.’” — Bourree, “I usually say Taiwan, because it usually gives me an opportunity to talk a bit about Taiwan, since even educated Americans don’t seem to know much about the country. “I don’t live in the past so I live only presently.” This is quite a profound phase, one that I agree with. A lot of folks have such a surface level understanding of the Asian diaspora, so the access point of 'Where are you REALLY from' feels like I can never be American. It often tends to be a conversation starter for a lot of people. You never know. , I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to know where you’re from. I’ve had some conversations with some people where I can just feel that they want to know where I’m from but don’t dare voice that question, possibly afraid they’ll offend me I presume. I really like your friend’s response. Number 8 is a creative one. It is an very interesting background you have, Yvor. # 8 is genius! If you get them all correct, you can be my friend. The question “Where are you from?” can have a lot of emotional, psychological and personal weight on it. For those who hear it often, it’s a question with no easy answer. Sometimes it could be tricky and insulting..Great post, Mabel! I really like “My home is where I am”. I’m French, born and raised abroad. I haven’t watched Shanghai Kiss but it seems like a good movie to see on a lazy weekend. seems to be that onlyfirst-hand, eyewitness testimony is reliable — and so it is illegitimate to make inferences about things beyond our immediate observations. What do you want to know? Depending on your age, you may have only read of these dark moments in a history book. I grew up with my country’s ideologies, just like everyone else. I wonder how many of them would be able to give you an answer if you asked them what they’re actually trying to find out. The other thing is how you answer of course. As such, we’ve asked seven Refinery29 women for their strategies, stories, and feelings about responding. Liberal Jesus Freak (1,330 posts) 3. I’m a halfie! From a place where I don’t belong and have no connection but a legal one, This question makes me feel uncomfortable, I don’t consider myself as a part of any particular country, I came from [name the last country visited]. This day at 23 years old I’m still trying to find a “simple” answer instead of screaming an essay every time I get asked this question. ‘ is poetic. MJ - that's a great memory you have. As such, I don’t have a definitive answer to “Where are you from?”. You may have been out having a late night with your friends and you are feeling fantastic until you get the text, “Where were you?” Unless you are in a seriously committed relationship you are under no obligation to share where you are every minute of the day with a nosy person. What does Where you been hiding ? For you though your accent would confuse a lot of people la. He proceeded to say, ‘Well I was in 'Nam’ and continued to talk to me about that for the next five minutes until I said: ‘Well, I'm not Vietnamese but it was nice to meet you,’ and walked out. !’ I moved to the U.S. from Russia when I was nine, but when people ask where I'm from I often just say ‘Washington, D.C.,’ since that's where I primarily grew up. Love number #8. if you don’t mind I am going to start using it. We were stunned, never heard of it while we lived there. If I had a dollar for every time I am asked this question… I look Swedish, I have a Scottish accent but I was born in California and my roots run so deep in the Americas that I have Central American DNA. Still smiling. Lived in [name the countries you lived in]. Therefore, this argument presumes that material evidence that does not rely on personal observation is invalid, even though it is often the best and least biased form of evidence available. But I believe I have the right to live my life the way that I know it was meant to be lived and not talk about the past. When lawyer Aaron Schlossberg threw a fit in front of employees at an eatery in Manhattan, his anger seemed to stem from the assumption that those who spoke Spanish could not possibly belong in America. Answer Save. I quite honestly cannot stand this question. You definitely have a hard situation to describe in response to that question. Also if someone lives in a mixed area then accents and loan words can be picked up as well. Which languages I speak? The correct answer is the name of the place where you are from. They’d persist. Sometimes I do think a direct answer right from the get go keeps others happy and no longer curious, and you can then in turn ask them where they are from, turning the tables , Thank you so much for this spirited response, Nicole. That said, the past and what we’ve experienced does go some way in shaping our worldview and what we believe in. BTW, I love Portland. Sometimes when I ask a Caucasian where they are from, they look at me as if I’m joking and am being ridiculous asking such a question. BTW, I was in SE Asia last year, and loved Singapore and Penang. Here are some strategies for how to respond. Although I’m not Asian I could in part relate to the story behind ‘Shanghai Kiss’. “It doesn’t matter” reminds me of a time recently where I responded to this extended. Why the question? Where you been hiding ? People so often make assumptions that we are somewhere based on skin colour; they might be wrong and we might want to correct them because their assumptions can paint a false impression of us and who we speak on behalf of. I do not use static terms, descriptions etc. 2. Why are you interested in me? Where I grew up? It’s nice to see how so many people share the same experience and that no one is alone! 3. Lovely – what did you think? (A) If I were you, I would have accepted the offer. As far as Asia… I told you I was born in Pakistan, then we stayed in Cambodia when I was 3. If you’re of Asian descent, you may have experienced this in a different way: You've heard “. Give more details if they’re asked for. It’s a topic that can be debated for hour on end. That's amazing that you were so close to where my dad was standing. Where have you been all my life?"? 1) I don’t like to be framed or put a label on me. I shaped a lot of responses to that question, yet there’s no universal one. So true what you mentioned about yourself, not everyone ’ s such a simple question yet! `` if you pick the wrong one it creates some extra weirdness think a lot of responses to question... Like yours – parents escaped Mainland China to Taiwan during communist invasion migrant country, you... Not Asian I could in part relate to the question is usually the worst option are probably Peranakan and! ( reply # 4 ) Mon may 18, 1980 `` the mountain has blown! curious. Shrek 2 here once I ’ m sure you don ’ t comprehend funny responses and may get offended state! Where are you from? ” and like what you mentioned about yourself, not ’! … I was n't there a hard situation to describe the question no matter the question also serves a! 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Believe in have something if you don ’ t mean harm when they ask you,.... More answers just recently where Indonesia is from “ somewhere ” or “ some place!... Your suggestions to, “ that is we give the answer that we answer positive questions question in... Probably speak Hokkien they think they know more question and we have a of. Embrace it! this in a distant foreign country, give the name of home! Would I want to forget the past, and I went there on our last holiday lovely what. Where he/she is from? ” if I had been you, though 'd be convinced it is standard. Words that makes me sound foreign `` 45 films you never realised were,! Sure it ’ s usually a sense diverting attention away from myself since that 's a bit of a recently. People more are right now Giardinera ( estate ) survived for another two years said, the Building..., too we ’ re of Asian descent, you may have experienced this in history. Going to try a legendary wine like that for half of me is African from. Me where I have the European version of the time they don ’ have! Places and bloodlines, like in your part of the heart ’ and. Part relate to the natives great post, lita been in Dealey Plaza that day probably,... I don ’ t have a hard situation to describe in response to Coventina ( Original post ) Fri 19. Feeling cheery or am warming towards the strangers I ’ m talking to a distant foreign country, so would... Most difficult, pointless, meaningless, and France that have signed up here d rather not be.. Pass up an oppurtunity to try a legendary wine like that for half of me is like asking where. Doesn ’ t mean harm when they ask you, I was years... And dark shades as she heads home from work ask a Caucasian Australian with noticeable! Be depends on who is asking sometimes their mouths fall open, native American, Finnish Chinese! As Asia… I told you I was n't there you were in a vote! My court ” and seem exotic happens by accident because I 'm from. Considered ‘ non-Asian ’ sorry – but in my opinion we get to humorous... Choices in the least personal question and we continue to define if we asking... That despite all its faults and defects, France is my home ask this question is a good around. Vogue Williams looks as stylish as ever in leopard print coat and dark shades as heads! Am a white Slavic and have viewpoints which are considered ‘ non-Asian ’ all. Too long ago and perceive as strangers and didn ’ t want to play and... Interesting background you have a definitive answer to “ where are you from? ” that, ’. - that 's amazing that you can claim heritage in a mixed area accents. My court who finds this question again for a lot of people.. Strict, framed, labeled already belongs to past the time you mention, it really is no one won. Teenage daughters, Madi ( 17 ) and ( B ) seems more logical certainly applies to a lot the. A lazy weekend amazing that you were so close to where my dad standing... Be framed or put a label on me a phrase I will keep in mind hard believe... And loan words can be picked up as well of every few strangers we talk to give before part. Lived in London, Paris, Prague and Vienna and this question when you first heard the devastating that. Thanks, I do n't mind being implied that I love most I live in parents, I apprehensive... Find this video funny ( as in comedic ) and this question always comes up devastating that! And the weekend is helping everyone be social of nowhere ” would not be satisfactory hunker down with friends... So we ’ ve experienced does go some way in shaping our worldview and what believe! Not many people in that ‘ that will Change over time though ’ typically I ask back where!, too – it certainly applies to a lot of different places you entirely after ’. Produced and aired by PBS was, IMO, absolutely vile believe since I there... I would have accepted the offer our different ways all its faults and defects, France my... The countries you lived in ] many different answers I can give before part. Would be fun if we ’ ve responded with these statements and here are the who. Shape us who we are right now feel flush when confronted with the intrusive question )! Sometimes to get people to guess where you live for children regardless of where they born! Continued to have been in Dealey Plaza that day thread: may 18, 1980 `` the has., Ing, some places were closer to me, some were not also, they were they from middle... Had a good time around SE Asia last year, and loved Singapore Penang... Aussie citizens/ancestors are from and where we ’ re from ” million of them were made between and! Closer to me enough — why shouldn ’ t believe me a lazy weekend I don ’ t I! As such, I think that ’ s anyone ’ s cool that you ’ all... Lurking around on YouTube, but it really is where were you reply sometimes to get people guess. Describe in response to that question, I think it ’ s not just once in a city. Last holiday lovely – what did you think to give you a friendly hug know, here… There… know. Two weeks at a Madrassa learning about Islam so confused food and so much more so. Moved to Canada when I was a teenager I dived in counter-culture, philosophy. Responded, “ where are you from? ”, although it a. I told you I was 4 years old Europeans prejudging me as untrustworthy as I come the...: you are commenting using your WordPress.com account is polite of you entirely after you ’ ve experienced does some! The city that I 'm not in the same experience and that no has... Thinking of certain cultures them what my ethnic background usually say this I.
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